Having said that, visits to the local swimming pool have unearthed some less-than-heavenly physiques, in the form of the muscle-bound meat-heads hogging the fast lane. I have yet to see any evidence that they should be in that particular section of the pool, given that they only ever seem to do 2 consecutive lengths at any given time, before resuming their ridiculous posturing at the shallow end, with isotonic sports drinks replenishing the nutrients that they have yet to use...
Even funnier is that one of these guys is there doing his best to look hard, glaring around the pool at everyone else with his muscles and tattoos and grade 1 shorn-head that you just know is classic "ginger in denial"... (*I can say this, I have redhead tendencies, and as Tim Minchin has pointed out, "only a ginger can call another ginger 'ginger'"...). Dude, you're standing in the shallow end. There are no adjectives to put a positive spin on this situation, you do not look cool or hard as you may imagine, 'ridiculous' is the best way I can describe it...
At least Sir-Splash-a-Lot is giving it a good shot, making a right song-and-dance of thrashing his way up and down the pool, managing to splatter his trail across three lanes, much to the annoyance of everyone else in the vicinity. I wouldn't mind if he was doing butterfly but no, it seems that every style of swimming employed yields a similar ratio of water to stroke...
Anyhows, onto the celestial entities of the title. This weeks' caravannical offerings have a distinctly "space-y" theme:
1. First up, the Lunar Apollo II:
By the looks of it, built to withstand re-entry, although I wouldn't fancy its chances of making it into space in the first place given that it is even less aerodynamic than the Top Gear Robin Reliant space shuttle. Steer clear of the Mark XIII would by my top tip...
2. The Lunar Moonstar 570:
I like the arbitrary nature of the number chosen, it has something of the "picked out of a hat" about it. I've now realised that manufacturer "Lunar" has gone for an astronomical theme in a few of its flag(space)ship vehicles, although I doubt we'll be seeing a "White Dwarf", "Black Hole" or "Collapsing Nebula" model anytime soon...
3. The Swift Sundance:
I like the combination of cheery optimism and irony of this particular moniker, with 'Swift' being pretty much the antonym of 'caravan', and the likelihood of it actually dancing in the sun seems slim in Great Britain at this time of year. Or perhaps "Sundance" is the M.O. of the occupants every morning as they wake up to persistent drizzle and a pea-soup fog...
Special commendation this week goes to the family who painted their towing caravan as an idyllic countryside scene, with trees, grass, hills in the distance and a blue sky with fluffy white clouds - very Watership Down. Sadly no photos as I was driving in the opposite direction at the time...
